Fast forward to today. Today marks exactly four weeks since I received the phone call. My mom was diagnosed with stage three small cell carcinoma, with a 3x4x5 cm tumor, a small nodule in the right lower lobe, which is also in the immediately surrounding lymph nodes. She isn't a candidate for surgery, because of the delicate veins encapsulated in the tumor. She has completed her first round (three days) of chemo therapy and will return again in three weeks for another three days. She won't be going through radiation (yet), they will determine if she will start after her fourth round (12 weeks) of chemo.
Obviously this is a very scary, difficult thing for her to go through. For us to go through as a family. As a nurse, I am expected to answer questions, to provide reassurance, but right now I'm a daughter. A daughter who is scared and doesn't know the answers. I wish I did, but being a nurse only grants me a few days of studying more than the average person with knowledge about cancer.
It is likely that my appearance here may not be as frequent. But then again, it may be. I cannot say. At first, this was all I could think about. I couldn't fathom writing about anything happy or interesting or entertaining. Slowly, life is returning to normal. My mom is still my mom. I am still living my life the same that I was before, going to work, going home, cooking dinner and doing the chores, but now there's just a little rain cloud hovering above us. But, as the saying goes, you can't have a rainbow without a little rain.
